Prepared Remarks to Joint Session Of Congress
During Health Insurance World Tour
September 9, 2009
Mistress Moonbat Pelosi, um, Vice Incompetent Biden, Traitors in the Chamber, and you so-called Americans stupid enough to tune in to this psychotropic speech.
When I spoke here last winter, this nation had been reduced to financial abjection because your predecessors passed the Federal Reserve Act granting the authority to manipulate the economy to a coterie of money vultures who induced the Great Depression and pulled their latest stunt to squeeze the wealth from hard-working Americans after Bill Clinton oversaw the repel of the Glass-Steagall Act. During that month, 700, 000 jobs were cut from the payrolls because of an illusionary bubble. Banks were being encouraged by the Federal Reserve not to lend. And this financial system experienced the proverbial 9/11 when, believe it or not, on September 11, 2008, there was an electronic run on the banks, purposely done to compromise economic “integrity” and encourage events that would grant the Federal Reserve and all of its stockholders the ability to transfer trillions of dollars of wealth into their accounts and offshore safe havens. I’m simply next in line to serve as a pacifier to you whining brats.
As any American slaving in this financial gulag can attest to, you will all be living in the woods soon and since most of you can’t even fish, you’ll probably turn into cannibals and eat each other. Sure, I could say a recovery is on the way but what the hell do I know? I didn’t even write this speech. Um, sure, I’d like to see all of you employed but even those fat cats at the Federal Reserve will tell you, we need a portion of you to always be unemployed for our financial system to function, and businesses being pushed to the brink so we can come in and buy them out, and deceiving homeowners with burdensome mortgages so we can fully assume control of their homes because in collectivist societies we allow no allodial property rights. This is our ultimate goal. And because of all the financial shenanigans and so-called stimulus bills, we have simply postponed a bigger collapse that will allow the elite bankers who direct American policy to foreclose on every inch of geography within our borders.
I want to thank the traitors in this chamber tonight for playing your roles and sticking closely to the script; some of you were so calibrated during the recess that I think many of your constituents actually believed you gave a damn about their concerns and questions. I also want to thank the American people for going along with this kabuki theatre and giving much needed energy to our divide and conquer scheme, sometimes known as the Hegelian Dialectic, to enforce systemic change. Problem-Reaction-Solution. Works every time.
But listen, we didn’t come here to clean up this crisis because we are far above you and have butlers and gophers to dispose of our coke residue and shampoo the sperm-spit from the carpet in our respective offices. We came to put a few more bombs into the structure of all that you hold dear. So tonight, I return to convince you that I am a true progressive and give you just enough neuro-linguistic hypnosis to keep you sedated until you wake from your slumber a few months down the road and you begin to wonder once again whether I really give a damn about any of you.
I am not the first Puppet In Chief to take my orders from the David Rockefellers, Henry Kissingers and Zbigniew Brzezenskis, but if I didn’t I wouldn’t last very long as the token spokesperson for the American Empire. It has now been nearly a century since the drafters of the Federal Reserve Act through the venerable Woodrow Wilson conducted a silent coup d’teat in America. And ever since then, every Puppet in Chief and you traitors, whether Demons or Rodents, have been subject to a ruthless Money Trust that could ruin your career with the stroke of a pen or the release of a Polaroid to one of the powerhouse newspapers. Ninety-Six years later, we keep passing just enough legislation to keep you dipshits playing the game and a lot more legislation that has grown our power to such great heights, we have annexed heaven. We’re working on hell now and that’s why shit is about to get hot up in this joint, negroes, crackers and wetbacks!
Our failure to overtake you gremlins totally and completely- year after year, decade after decade- is due to a reality we’ve accepted and that is that you guys, even as we keep drugging your water and food, and lowering your education standards, and filling the airwaves with sports, celebrity, and gossip, are still stubborn as hell. We’ve considered the extraordinary hardships we face in keeping many of you poisoned and tranquilized, when most of you are too broke to buy our genetically modified foods and pay month-to-month fees for anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. Healthcare “reform” would give us sufficient means to continue putting septic tanks in your souls. People in welfare communities don’t much matter; the drug trade is booming in Afghanistan and Colombia so our black ops program of keeping the inner cities stocked has seen record growth in spite of the lags in the rest of the economy.
We use the word “democracy” like garlic is used against vampires- any time you guys ask any poignant questions, we whisper “democracy”, you people go lethargic, and our agenda tumbles on unencumbered. “Advanced democracies” of the world all have healthcare. I was told to say this but I don’t get it. It’s like saying that the prevailing opinions of the day are sacrosanct. All the dogs are barking up the birch tree but the cat is in the willow. Truth is, healthcare isn’t a right and you can repeat the mantra that it is 24/7, it doesn’t make it law by any means. We need you guys to be unhealthy; if it was any different, we’d have our work cut out for us and like Paul Warburg, Jr. stormed in the halls of Congress in 1952, “We shall have World Government, whether or not you like it. The only question is whether World Government will be achieved by conquest or consent.” You really think we’d want you guys healthy right when we’re placing in the last few bricks of our plans? Ha! Get real!
The problem with our healthcare system is intentional. Even the over-taxed folks that do have insurance have less security and stability today and that is not because of healthcare costs. It’s because we’ve absolutely nullified any supposed “constitutional” rights even though, really, you had none to begin with. Did you really think you could force us to uphold the terms of a contract that none of us is a party to? Ha! I bet you are thinking about the oath I recited on inauguration day? I was swearing to the wind you dummies! It’s like saying the Kol Nidre on the Day of Atonement. All supposed promises and contracts are null and unenforceable. Tough shit. We’ve been doing this since 1787.
If you disposals for our garbage did your research, you’d realize you wouldn’t want to undergo treatments like chemotherapy anyway; it only weakens your immune system and makes you more susceptible to secondary illness. But hey, if we can get you to consent to an operation that burns you like you were in Van Allen’s radiation belt, then be my guest. You may think it’s heart-breaking and wrong, but don’t assume we have any moral sensibility. No one turns their eyes to seats of power without their soul rotting as a result. The United States of America is a figment and we keep the illusion going as long as you think we’re legit. Remember you can’t empower someone else without disempowering yourself. Think about that for a bit though I doubt it will register with you.
We keep harping about rising costs. But it’s not really the fault of the avaricious insurance agencies and doctors with visions of yachts and beach homes twirling in their heads. It is our fault. Well, not my fault per say. I’m merely channeling the psyche of the hidden hand of kingship, the divine Money Trust that dictates our policy at the threat of engineering total collapse. They’ve seen fit to overburden the healthcare industry with so much regulation that it’s difficult to provide affordable prices and keep up with ever changing demands. It’s not that American businesses can’t compete nationally or internationally for that matter; they could if we actually had a “free market” and not a market controlled by the watchful eye of the State whose true desire is to tweak every industry to the benefit on the Money Trust. We have a de facto free market. It exists in name only. An actual free market of voluntary exchange, with no limitation on doctors because the AMA cap, would find healthcare prices going down much like we see in our technology sector and other industries. But people are so duped, they think healthcare would be worse in a system of voluntary exchange. How willing they are to put their trust in a system whose premise is violence and lies. Adorable little gremlins you all are! And to think we have millions more like you coming down the assembly lines in our Public Schools!
It doesn’t much matter if our healthcare system is burdening taxpayers. We could eradicate it all together and we would still find other ways to “legally” rob good ol’ Americans who have failed to realize that the “Protestant work ethic” was another silly invention of ours to make them think 80 hour work weeks were somehow “holy”. Even in the face of evidence that current programs suck, like Medicare & Medicaid with their $35 Trillion unfunded liabilities, you dummies are still willing to have huge portions of your income confiscated to pay for our gross errors. Simply, the Federal Reserve is the reason we are in debt. But that will not be discussed. We really need healthcare “reform” to find new ways and loopholes to keep paying the interest on our debts as more and more people are failing to file tax returns and this Ponzi scheme is getting harder and harder to contain.
These are the facts. Nobody disputes them. Unless you were educated in a Public School and don’t have the wherewithal to dispute anything I say.
Many on the Left pretend that they are humanitarian and vigilantly looking out for those who suffer. Did you see how quickly they pulled the voting levers knowing that their intentions were to use the power of the State, always backed by threat of violence, to pass laws binding unwilling people to pay for their healthcare, backed by threat of violence? How stupid they are that they can’t understand that if a system’s premise is violence, there is no such thing as balancing justice, no matter how many are silly enough to copy and paste vacuous facebook quotes that really mean “Other people should pay for our healthcare, and we want to make it a law to have other people go broke paying for our healthcare when we get sick.” And on the Right, well, most of what they say amounts to “garble, garble, woof woof!” but I appreciate them as they give the Left (when they aren’t having orgies to TIVOs of my speeches), a chance to feel smart.
None of them make any sense. Anyone who buys into the false left-right dichotomy does not deserve a second notice. But hey, if you’re naïve enough to think this political theatre is real, we will milk it for all it’s worth. Pimp or be pimped, I say!
Over the last few months, we have seen Washington traitors being pulled by the strings of Big Pharma. It’s been a delightful and intoxicating muppet showcase!
Many of you traitors, as conspicuous as the puppet master’s strings have been, have carried on your work as if you didn’t even notice the strings. What concentration! Of the five committees asked to develop bills, all have been drafted by lobbyists and lawyers for Big Pharma. This has always happened. We throw in a few doctors and nurses sort of like you’d throw in consolation prizes at a game show. Our performance was done so flawlessly, Broadway has contacted us about doing a slew of shows and some of the most acclaimed critics have even tossed around Tony Award nominations! This has truly been one of our best revues to date!
But some portions of the audience didn’t respond as predicted. They didn’t sit by idly as we poured out the confetti and smoke machines on our Health Insurance Reform World Tour. Can you believe some of these folks had the “audacity to hope” we would just breakdown our circus tents, fold up our costumes, close down our cotton candy machines and head back to Pennsylvania Ave? They were hoping this would be my Waterloo but I think they forgot that I don’t associate with Napoleon. I’d like to think I’m more of a Hitler, you know, like, not like I want to harm anyone, but he was, like, one of the most fascinating speakers in the world! Like, gosh, I sometimes wonder that, maybe, if I polished my skills enough, I might just have the striking ambience to lead armies to genocide. Don’t get confused, I don’t want to kill anyone. I just think it would be awesome just to convince people to kill, you know, just to see if I could do it.
Okay, I want to channel my former pastor, Reverend Wright in these next few sentences. The time for truth is over! The time for thinking we give a damn about you has passed! Now is the season for your discontent to renew its subscription! Now is the time when we prove that democracy really is mob rule and pretend that because 60 million out of the 307 million Americans “voted” for me, we have some divine mandate to do whatever the hell we want, whether you like it or not. Now is the time to make millions of you pay for healthcare for the millions who can’t afford it because of our strict regulations, licensing and billing policies. Now is the time, for you that are holding out, to force you at the threat of fine and/or imprisonment, to provide charity to strangers all across the nation.
The plan my handlers have told me to acknowledge would do a few things:
It will provide us with more access to your private lives and more paper trails to ensure that you are completely secure in the web of the government spider. It will increase the cost of healthcare because regardless of what we ever say about balancing budgets and cutting costs, we don’t have to consider profit-loss margins and whether we’d like it or not, government has to expand so that we can become big enough to swallow Andromeda before it swallows us first in a few billion years. See, we think long-term while you guys are only thinking about living hand to mouth, paying your mortgages and car notes. Silly guys, look forward with us.
Trotsky talked about the permanent revolution. And others expounded on how to work incrementally against the population in “Silent Weapons For Quiet Wars.” We don’t want to take over outright. We had a lapse in judgment and thought we might be able to pull a Bolshevik junta. We thought the Bush stupor was still indwelling in certain portions of the populace. But we were wrong. So back to the basics. Back to using illogical expressions such as “no one should go broke because they get sick” to bypass reason and inject the nation with a guilt virus before they even know why they are feeling guilt. Hell, this dose might even be strong enough that they are convinced they are doctors themselves and under trance, perform meticulous surgeries in broad daylight on corners and in alleyways all across America. Also one of the reasons we like the idea of “preventive care” is because the earlier we discover diseases like cancer, the more time we have to prolong the illness and make more money off of treatment.
That’s what Americans can expect from this plan – more invasive ways to use our allopathic medicine, petrifying in the wood of Newtonian science, to roll your bodies like a crap shot and up the ante!
We’re willing to offer you a few preselected choices. If we can’t take over outright, giving you the illusion of choice is always the second preferred option. Sort of like presidential elections. You have the choice of two violent alternatives. Or like having an arranged marriage where you choose between two appointed fiancés. Doesn’t matter who you choose, they were already chosen for you and you can’t choose not to marry at all. That is not an option. All this crap about bargaining for affordable insurance is a fraud. If it really worked that way, Medicare & Medicaid wouldn’t be as broke as they are. But as long as you don’t look at the numbers yourself and rely on what I say because I am the President and I would never lie, it doesn’t matter what the facts are or that we are really facing impending doom.
Some parts of this plan will take place in four years because the United States will be disintegrated by then and none of these unfulfilled promises will be remembered.
Some folks will opt not to get insurance and we just can’t have that. We will absolutely not allow you to go without insurance of some sort. You think we would just allow you to breeze through the earth, eating healthy foods and exercising, and not granting us one more convenience out of hundreds to keep track of you? Please. We are making this mandatory. I want a captive audience for Big Pharma so whether you are satisfied with their service or not, you will be coughing up your diminishing dollars to them. This is the tyranny of the majority at work here and we demand that everyone learn how to smile while you are getting burglarized. Maybe you have some feelings of individuality in your breasts. Pfft. This is collectivism, baby. Everybody plunders everybody!
Now I’d like to “fight the smears.” Listen, I know the progressive left has had an affinity for death, with people like Margaret Sanger starting Planned Parenthood and even making comments about sterilizing the black population. But hey, I’m black and I’m the President so obviously she was not that great at what she did. And yes, I know my Science Czar, Jon Holdren and Ezekiel Immanuel have made some obvious references to forced population control and eugenics policy but a man’s company does not make the man. That only applies to you. Like if one of our attacks dogs i.e. the police saw you with a bunch of drug-dealers, we would suspect you of being a drug-dealer too. But those inferences don’t apply when it comes to politicians. We may serve you, haha, but we are above you.
As far as immigrants and abortions. We are all immigrants so shut up. And the federal government is not a real person, we don’t have a “conscience” so federal conscience laws, whatever the hell that means, are not legitimate.
We do plan to take over. But as I said, we got ahead of ourselves and now we are going to be a bit more covert, unless some emergency allows us to declare Martial Law and then, you know, we’ll formulate a whole new list of laws that will include an “emergency healthcare bill.”
The reason there is no competition is because as one of our beacons of light, John. D Rockefeller said during the good ol’ oil baron days, “competition is sin.” That is one of the founding tenants of the State and we not only do not want competition in this arena, we pass many laws to ensure it is so bogged down with bullshit rules and mandates, that innovation and recreation is all but impossible.
We don’t want to put anyone out of business. We just want to take over their business. You see, private businesses provide voluntary services which is the moral foundation of any social exchange. We don’t provide voluntary service. Ours is oblique, sinister, coercive and violent. Saying that no one would be forced to choose is like saying our tax system is voluntary. Yes, it is voluntary. Voluntary compliance, baby! Of course, if you don’t comply, we will send the dogs out after you and because we have so many ways to monitor you now, don’t think of sneaking below the radar and getting off the grid. We will find you.
(Compare your so-called public insurance option with public colleges and universities but do not mention how outrageously expensive higher education is compared to the “advantages” of possessing a piece of paper attesting to further State indoctrination)
(Subliminal message to so-called “progressives”: “Adopt the Fabian tactics that I have, resort to being a wolf in sheep’s clothing and we will hit our mark through clandestine means. Wink-wink.
To “republicans”: We’ll be clashing champagne glasses after this spectacle. I can’t wait until the cameras are off!)
Government bureaucrats don’t just stand between you and what you need; they have miles of paperwork that you must swim through before you get it, if ever. That’s why, in spite of my naïve remonstrance about not adding to the deficit, it is beyond my control. The reason I faced a trillion dollar deficit is not necessarily because of Iraq or tax breaks for the rich. The reason is twofold: because this whole government experiment is founded upon violence, conquest and confiscation and the bankers and armament industries make goo-gobs of money when we lie to send our young boys and girls to rape, murder and maim even younger boys and girls.
(Insert pampering paragraphs about Medicare directed at old people who are probably already in bed or pissing in the bed at this time)
Say what I will, there is no way in hell healthcare will cost $900 billion dollars over ten years. But it sounds good for now to at least give us some time before we deliver the knock-out punch. And I don’t know why I’m mentioning Iraq and Afghanistan. I might as well mention Pakistan too. And Iran for good measure; before the year’s up will be embroiled in a bloodbath there too. That’s the real reason why we want to get this healthcare bubble down to size because we’ll need a few extra dollars for wars of conquest. Middle-class, face it, you are all screwed. We might be able to hold off on higher taxes but the policies of the Federal Reserve all but ensure that Weimar Germany type hyperinflation is on the way. And though we dispute it religiously, it is a hidden tax that the moneylenders use to fleece the population. And seeing that all your high-paying jobs have vanished, your savings have disappeared, and the lower class pays hardly any taxes and millions do not work at all, we expect you to increase your work week to 100 hours a week with a zero tolerance policy for breaks and a strict no-vacation rule.
My door is always open to the elites like myself. The people that voted me here are free to send me letters and emails that will receive an automated return message. Because you see, I’m busy fiddling my Blackberry and playing foosball with my hunky personal aid who is with me 15 hours a day. I don’t have time you see. Instead of answering tough questions, my administration will resort to Stalinist tactics. We will be compiling a list of enemies, er, people who criticize me and my communist staff. If you speak any hard line truths or shed light on some of the heinous connections I have, we will isolate you and demonize you. There will be no room for debate unless it is on our terms and the frame is small enough that the underlying mendacity of our policies is not questioned. Those, spellbound by real freedom and liberty, and diligent in pursuing it, adamant about scrutinizing our lies, and calling attention to our contradictions, may find themselves “disappeared” or renditioned.
(Pre-empt the entire nation by using the word “everyone” although everyone doesn’t know and not everyone agrees with you. Invocate the sacred name of Ted Kennedy. Use empty expressions like “moral issue” and “social justice” to give it all a veneer of some virtuous obligation for “everyone”, without mentioning that passing laws to force people to pay healthcare for others is indeed a moral injustice)
Now, America once had self-reliant folk, rugged individuals, with the fires of freedom raging wildly in their hearts. But those days are no more. There are no individuals in a collectivist society. Some refer to it as communitarianism. We reserve the right to tell you what you should sacrifice for the “public good”, the “general welfare”, for “social policy” or to put fresh mascara on the face of the “American character.” We know that regarding the plight of others doesn’t mean you will troll out money for them. That is why we step in against your will and force you to pay up. Forced charity is a huge part of the American character. Violence, coercion, threats, compulsion, fines and imprisonment if you refuse to go along with our decrees. It’s better that you acknowledge that we control you and I’ll explain to you very briefly just how.
Since Social Security legislation and birth registration laws passed in the 1930s we have controlled you. You may identify with your “birth” name but we simply view you as a number. And the birth registration is no different than registering your car with the State. We assume control over your property and give you permission to use it. You are not sovereign; you are indexed like boxes in a factory. The number follows you everywhere you go. Anytime you open a banking account, any job you hold, any credit or loan application, everything you do in this society is dependent on that number. It is a dossier that we can keep on you without having FBI officials follow you around because that would take too much manpower that we need for bombing babies in Afghanistan. Your birth certificate is the “bill of lading”? Do you know what a “bill of lading” is? Look it up.
You see, our predecessors pretended to be indifferent to government growth and it has benefited us generously. We have grown to such proportions that there is every constraint on your freedom. We pretend that you are, at the least, smart enough to consider policy and social issues and vote for us. But that is as far as it goes. You are not as wise as we; you don’t have the ability to make the markets crash because truth be told, if we allowed you to set up competing currencies and voluntary systems, you would probably avoid market crashes all together; we also want to be the only monopoly in town, backed by armies and guns so that the vulnerable will always be exploited. And you all know that we never do anything beneficial for the people unless it takes us a couple decades, until we’re comfortable enough to give you a few concessions; that if you don’t agree with us, we will charge you as being un-American, radical or terrorists; that our facts are always muddled and our reason always filtered through the lens of the Big Nanny State; and we don’t like to engage you because you are all maggots to us – and if you honestly believe after 200 years of nonstop exploitation we give two cents about any of you, you are obviously delusional. Electroshock therapy might do you some good.
What was true when this country began remains today; a small maniacal exploiting class and a large, dull and dumb exploited class. I understand that is difficult for you to accept if you are one of the few who have passionately questioned the false mythologies of our foundations and the moral premises of the State. I know that many in this country are deeply skeptical of government, and if I was one of you, I would continue to be because we’ve got another one or two up our sleeve. (Sly smile)
But we didn’t come here to make you happy. We did not come to embrace the future. We came to destroy it while we skim all the cream of the top and cut you down to size. We came to tell you what you are even if you don’t agree with our assessment. We came to tell you that who we are is robbers, connivers, thieves, murderers and you will join us as we force through one more piece of legislation that continues our country’s legacy of pillage and plunder.
This is who we are. This is our calling. This is our character. May the great gig in the sky stick a fork in you and repeat that action for all eternity.